guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
