Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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