Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
