In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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