his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
