standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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