You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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