Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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