But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize