I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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