he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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