guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
