if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
