She's JV to your varsity
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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