i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
