Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
