brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude i'm inner monologue high
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
