I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
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