well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
