i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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