they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
