It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize