I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
