I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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