Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
