If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize