at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
