i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
