thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
