somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
