I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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