But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
