Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
