Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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