she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just high enough for therapy.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
