that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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