So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize