I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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