he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize