I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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