This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
