Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i've created a new STD.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
