I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize