she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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