I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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