cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
