i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
