Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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