Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
