well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
