I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
