i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
