I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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