id be glad to
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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