Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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