my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
