Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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