oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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