My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
