Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
