Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
