i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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