don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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