we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
