so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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